Etiquettes of Condolence in Islam

Condolence has been prescribed to console the deceased’s family and lighten their pain and distress. The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) said:

“No believer consoles his brother at a time of distress except that Allah (s.w.t.) will clothe him with ornaments of honor on the Day of Requital.” [ibn Maajah]

1. Pray For The Family Of The Deceased

One should supplicate for the family of the deceased and encourage them to have patience and think of the reward they will receive from Allah for doing so in this time of distress. Usaamah bin Zaid said:

“We were with the Prophet (s.a.w.) when a message was sent by one of his daughters saying that she is calling him and that a child of hers was dying. He said to the messenger: ‘Go back to her and say that what Allah took back (the child) was His (to begin with) and His is what he gave, and everything with Allah is for a prescribed time. Order her to have patience and seek reward from Allah.’ The messenger came to the Prophet (s.a.w.) and said: ‘She has sworn an oath that you come to her.’ The Prophet (s.a.w.) stood along with Sa’d bin ‘Ubaadah and Mu‘aadh bin Jabal. I set off with them, and (when we arrived) he lifted up the young boy and his soul was leaving his body [known by his shaking] like (the sound made) when (pouring water or other things) into a empty gourd. His (the Prophet’s ()) eyes were wet, and Sa’d exclaimed: “What is this O Messenger of Allah ()?” He replied, “This is mercy which Allah instilled in the hearts of his slaves. Indeed the only people who Allah shows mercy to from his slaves are those who also show mercy.” [al-Bukhari& Muslim]

2. One Should Supplicate To Allah That He Shows Mercy To The Deceased.

Imam Ash-Shaafi‘i liked that one say to the family of the deceased:

“May Allah give you a great reward, grant you patience, and forgive your deceased [relative].”

3. It Is Desirable To Prepare Food For The Family Of The Deceased.

The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.) said:

“Prepare food for the family of Ja’far, for indeed a matter has come which has preoccupied them.”  [Abu Dawood & at-Tirmidhi]