Thursday, 17 January 2019

How to Date as a Muslim



As the world is taking the boyfriend and girlfriend things as norms, many Muslims brothers and sisters get confused about how they too can join the bandwagon without going against the ruling of Islam.

Admiring someone is not a sin when you find someone you like and you realize sudden feelings (affections) towards him or her. 

This is part of a human to develop emotion for things they admire. Don’t feel guilty, because you’re just being human.

A lot of Muslims wants to know if they can have a boyfriend or girlfriend, but they do not know which step to take, and also what guidelines do Islam recommended (advised) them to follow.

What Islam says about dating?


Islam does not emphasize on dating in particular, but it has encompassed (cover) on all issues pertaining to modesty and avoidance of sexual explicitness.

There are various verses in the Quran that prohibit believing Muslims (both male and female) to disassociate themselves from improper and immodest affairs.


“Tell the believing men to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts. That is purer for them. Indeed, Allah is Acquainted with what they do.” (Quran al-Nur 24:30)

“And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty.” (Quran al-Nur 24:31)




Is dating Halal or Haram?


Before any couple gets married or engaged, they have to spend time together to know whether they are compatible or have feelings for each other.

This little period of time together gives them insight on why they should go ahead with their relationship which could probably lead to marriage.

You cannot just conclude on marrying a person whom you do not know much about and end up parting ways within a couple of months after marriage.

Below are what can make your dating haram or halal:

Haram Date


Practicing an unlawful romance is basically a waste of time, which can lead to loss of dignity and self-esteem when the relationship eventually kicks the rock.

Haram relationship has risen sporadically today that seems mandatory for every adult or teenager to have a boyfriend or girlfriend. And not having one will make people think you’re archaic or outdated.

Islam prohibits the practical act of having an affair with someone whom you have not been engaged or married to. And there is an extreme punishment for those who fail to guide their private part and indulge in haram courtship.

Allah stated in the Quran that: “Who abstain from sex, except with those joined to them in the marriage bond, or (the captives) whom their right hand possess, - for (in their case) they are free from blame: But those whose desire exceed those limits are transgressors.” (Quran 23:5-7)

If you claim to be dating, and you choose to indulge in these following acts, then your dating is typically haram:

  • Hiding the consent of both parents from your relationship
  • Explicit gaze at each other
  • Calling yourselves husband and wife before nikkah
  • Premarital sex
  • Touching or kissing
  • Being alone or going out together
  • Night call and chatting



Halal Date


In Islam when you love someone or something, it must be for the sake of Allah. Islam encourages every Muslims to have a good relationship and be kind to all people, be it, males or females.

Every Muslim should abstain from choosing opposite sex as close friends, and avoid being alone together because shaytan makes uses of this moment to whisper to the mind of both, which can lead to having illicit acts.

“Whenever two strangers of the opposite gender are alone with each other, Satan becomes the third one between them.” (At-Tirmidhi)

Many may argue that there is no such thing as halal date, but there are ways we can make our date permissible without transgressing and opposing the Sunnah.

 “…Wed them with the permission of their own folk and give them their mahr (dowry) according to what is reasonable, they should chaste, not adulterous, nor taking boyfriends…” (Al-Nisaa’ 4:25)

Below are the factors that make your dating halal and permissible:

  • Seek consent from both your parents
  • Both paying a visit to each other at parents house
  • Both of them must be accompanied when going out
  • Get engaged
  • Nikkah

Conclusion


Dear brothers and sisters stay away from the haram date, just because your friends or anyone close to you have a girlfriend do not make it obligatory on you to have one also.

Be steadfast in obeying Allah’s command. He has made it unlawful for you and every other Muslims.

When the time comes Allah is going to bless you with a pious wife which is better than having a girlfriend or boyfriend which can be the path to earn the wrath of Allah.

  1. Okay so there's this question asked by a fellow Muslim brethen

    Does that mean one shouldn't have bf/gf till the person attain the age to marry. And at the same time; how do one gain the experience about relationship if he/she does not have bf/gf at a young age

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's forbidden to have a boyfriend or girlfriend according to the below verse in the Quran.

      “… Wed them with the permission of their own folk and give them their mahr (dowry) according to what is reasonable; they should be chaste, not adulterous, nor taking boyfriends…” [al-Nisaa’ 4:25]

      But if you're willing to marry a girl, follow the halal date. Get to know her properly so as not to against the ruling of Islam.

      You don't need to have any experience so far you love her and you have sought her parents consent.

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