Guiding one’s wife to righteousness is a primary duty for the husband in order to build an everlasting happy household. When one wife is righteous, we can say the home, children, and property is in safe custody when the husband is not at home.
“One of (the elements of) happiness is a righteous wife, who when you see her you feel pleased, and when you are away, you feel that you can trust her with regard to herself and your property. And one of (the elements of) misery is a bad wife who when you see her, you feel upset, she keeps attacking you verbally, and when you are away, you do not feel that you can trust her with regard to herself and your property.”
It is a fact that not everybody will end up marrying a righteous woman because initially many Muslim men today fails to investigate (or neglect) how religious a woman is before getting married to her.
A believing Muslim man must acknowledge that guidance is from Allah and only Allah gives transformation to whomever he wishes to guide.
If your wife is righteous, know definitely this is the merciful and bounty of Allah. And if she is not it is your duty as the husband (head of the household) to guide her towards righteousness.
There are several verses in the Quran and saying of the Prophet (peace be upon him) that talks about the goodness of having a righteous wife. Below are evidence from the Quran and Hadith:
“This world is all temporary conveniences, and the greatest joy in this life is a
righteous wife.” (Reported by Muslim, 1468).
According to another report: “A righteous wife to help you with your worldly and
religious affairs is the best treasure anyone could have.” (Reported by al-Bayhaqi. Saheeh al-Jaami’, 4285).
So, below are the factors to follow on how to guide your wife to righteousness:
Choose For Her Religious Friends
In Islam, it is important to know the kind of companion we mingle or interact with (most especially a friend) because they have a major impact on one’s life. They either contribute to one’s life positively or negatively.
Choose or encourage your wife to make friends with religious people among family and friends that will insert significantly to her guidance and steadfastness towards serving and obeying Allah’s command.
Prophet Muhammad said: “A person is on the way of life (deen) of his close friend, so let people look into whom they take as close friends.” (Abu Dawood)
Encourage Her To Read The Quran
The Quran is a book for believers who are seeking a righteous life. The more you engage with the Qur’an the more you unlock the gems inside it.
Encourage your wife to read the Quran from time to time. If she probably has no knowledge about Islam or cannot read the Quran, you can get her a private female tutor to teach her, because the Quran is a guide that encompasses on everything she needed to become a righteous wife which will renovate her life and the whole family for better.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said; ‘Uthmaan, may Allah be pleased with him, said that the Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) said: “The best of you are the ones who learn the Qur’an and teach it to others” [Al-Bukhari]
“Indeed the Quran guides to that which is most suitable and gives good tidings to the believers who do righteous deeds that they will have a great reward.” (Quran: 17:10)
Encourage Her To Give Charity
Giving charity is another means of developing one’s righteousness. Encourage your wife to give charity in times of ease and hardship for the sake of Allah. This will increase her sustenance in doing righteous deeds.
“O women! Give in charity, for I have seen that you form the majority of the inhabitants of Hell.” (Saheeh al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, 1/405).
“Indeed, those who believe and do righteous deeds and establish prayer and give zakah will have their reward with their Lord, and there will be no fear concerning them, nor will they grieve.” (2:277)
Encourage Her To Pray
Salaah is an obligatory prayer on every Muslim. Allah commanded both believing male and female to pray five times a day. It is a bitter truth to say most Muslim women do not complete their five daily prayers.
Always encourage your wife to perform salaah at home. If you are not at home, call her frequently to remind her about prayer. Lecture her about the purpose of salaah and how Allah will punish those who neglect their prayers.
Maintain with care the [obligatory] prayers and [in particular] the middle prayer and stand before Allah, devoutly obedient. – (Qur’an 2:238)
With regard to women, the deeper inside her home her place of prayer is, the better, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The best prayer for women is [that offered] in the furthest part of their houses.” (Reported by al-Tabaraani. Saheeh al-Jaami’,)
Encourage Her to Recite Adhkar (Remembrance of Allah)
Engaging in the remembrance of Allah might involve recitation of short phrases but the immense reward and impact it has in the heart of a believer are unimaginable.
“O You who believe! Remember Allah with much remembrance” (33:41)
Encourage her to regularly recite dhikr whenever she is free, for example, while cooking, doing chores, walking, standing, in the car, and so on.
Below are examples of dhikr she can recite:
- SubhanAllah or SubhanAllah wa bihamdihi (I praise Allah (or All praise if to Allah) above all attributes that do not suit His Majesty.)
- Alhamdulillah (All praise is for Allah)
- SubhanAllah wal hamdulillah, wa la ilahaillAllah wa Allahu akbar (I praise Allah (or All Praise if to Allah) above all attributes that do not suit His Majesty. All praise is for Allah. There is no deity worthy of worship besides Allah. Allah is Great.”)
- La hawla wa la quwwata illa billah (There is no power or might except (by) Allah)
- SubhanAllah (x33), Alhamdulillah (x33), Allahu akbar (x34)
- Astaghfirullah (I seek Allah’s forgiveness)
Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Allah says: 'I am just as My slave thinks I am, (i.e. I am able to do for him what he thinks I can do for him) and I am with him if He remembers Me. If he remembers Me in himself, I too, remember him in Myself; and if he remembers Me in a group of people, I remember him in a group that is better than they; and if he comes one span nearer to Me, I go one cubit nearer to him; and if he comes one cubit nearer to Me, I go a distance of two outstretched arms nearer to him; and if he comes to Me walking, I go to him running.' " (Saheeh al-Bukhari: Vol. 9, Book 93, Hadith 502)
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