In Islam, parents are valued caregiver that deserve an honor and rights which Allah has made obligatory on every believing Muslim.
"Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or more attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say, "my Lord! bestow on them Thy Mercy, even as they cherished me in childhood." (Quran 17: 23-24)
Before any of us become a youngster, adult or elderly, we had once been a vulnerable baby. Those times we were alone, and cannot do anything on our own.
We had depended solely on our parents (mostly our mother) or a guardian to cater and provide for our needs.
Imagine if we were abandoned after our birth, we were likely not to have survived to become what we are today.
Even afterward, they (parent) teach us, help us, and provide for our needs both academically and financially.
In Islam, parent and children share common obligations and admiring fulfillment to each other. This builds a strong and caring family.
“…no mother shall be treated unfairly on account of her child, nor father on account of her child…” (Quran 2: 233)
Below are three ways to honor your parents in Islam according to the Quran and Sunnah of our beloved Prophet (peace be upon him):
1. Be Good To Them
Parents are one of the greatest blessings Allah has granted all humans.
Being good and caring towards all human and animals is encouraged in Islam, but our parent deserves the best possible level of care.
The goodness concerning your parents is not something you decide base on how you feel on certain occasion or personal opinion. It is what Allah has made obligatory for us to do.
Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “Goodness towards (one’s) parents is the greatest obligatory act.”
Always remember your mother carried you for nine months in her womb, struggling and facing physical hardship to give birth to you.
“We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents; in pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth.” (Quran 46:15)
The reward of serving and treating your parents with goodness and kindness is paradise. You will earn Allah pleasure in this world and the hereafter.
“He who wishes to enter paradise through its best door must please his parents.”
And whoever goes against the right of his/her parents shall not go to paradise.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “O Messenger of Allah! I want to go out and fight (in jihad) and I have come to ask your advice.” He said: “Do you have a mother?” He said: “Yes.” He said: “Then stay with her, for Paradise is beneath her feet.” (Sunan an-Nasa’I: Vol. 1, Book 25, Hadith 3106)
2. Dutifulness and Kindness
Allah emphasized in the Qur’an on the importance of being dutiful and kind to our both parents which He has made obligatory on every Muslim.
“And we have enjoined on man to be dutiful and kind to his parents” (Qur’an 46:15)
Do not neglect your parents the time they needed you most. Respond immediately to their calls no matter how busy or hectic your day might be.
Give them a helping hand in everything they do. You can assist them in several ways: taking care of the house, in the kitchen, running errands for them, settle their bills and debt, sponsor their Hajj (if you are financially capable).
If they are in need of something, grant them even before they ask you. By doing all this, Allah is going to bless you and when your parents supplicate on your behalf, Allah will surely answer their prayers, due to your loyalty and devotion you have rendered them.
Dutifulness to one’s parents is a form of jihad, which the Prophet (Peace be upon him) instructed a man to be of service to them.
Narrated 'Abdullah bin 'Amr: A man came to the Prophet asking his permission to take part in Jihad. The Prophet asked him, "Are your parents alive?" He replied in the affirmative. The Prophet said to him, "Then exert yourself in their service." (Sahih Bukhari Volume 4, Book 52, Number 248)
In a situation like this, our parents will be vulnerable and weak. So, do not neglect or forsake them, be humble to them, and always be by their side. If you know you cannot be available for them all the time, you can move them to your house or employ a maid to assist them.
Abu Huraira reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: Let him be humbled, let him be humbled. It was said: Allah's Messenger, who is he? He said. He who finds his parents in old age, either one or both of them, and does not enter Paradise. (Sahih Muslim, Book 032, Number 6190)
3. Say Good Words And Satisfy Them
Good words are soothing to the heart. Utter it the most time when speaking to your parents. They deserve it mostly from you as their child. Never for once use offensive words while talking or rude actions towards them. Do not make them regret having you as a child.
When they do or say something that provokes you. Be calm. Remember Allah’s verse that says: “…say not to them (so much as) “ugh nor chide them, and speak to them a generous word.” (Quran 17 verse 23)
Even if your parents might have hurt you, abandon you, wound you, or says something that upset you, do not quickly respond in a disrespectful manner that could hurt their feelings.
According to one of the sayings of the Prophet (peace be upon him): “A man or woman is bound to be good to his or her parents, even though they may have injured him or her”
There are pleasant ways you can stop your parent from doing things you dislike, by telling them in a comforting tone “mom (dad)… please I do not like this”
Strive to satisfy your parents; please them; communicate with them regularly; visit them; make them happy and appreciate them.
Even though your parents are not Muslims, and they are encouraging you to follow their religious belief. Refuse. But continue to satisfy and be kind to them.
“… but if they strive to make thee join in worship with Me things of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not…” (Quran Al-Ankaboot 29:8)
Wrapping Up
Both your father and mother play an insignificant role in your life and obeying them will earn you huge rewards.
Disobedient to one’s parents is one of the greatest sins in Islam. According to a narration by Abu Bakra:
The Prophet said thrice, "Should I inform you out the greatest of the great sins?" They said, "Yes, O Allah's Apostle!" He said, "To join others in worship with Allah and to be undutiful to one's parents." (Volume 3, Book 48, Number 822)
Goodness, kindness and obedient to your mother is more rewarding than your father. When the prophet was asked as to which of the parent deserves more rights, he said, your mother three times before saying your father.
Abu Huraira reported that a person said: Allah's Messenger, who amongst the people is most deserving of my good treatment? He said: Your mother, again your mother, again your mother, then your father, then your nearest relatives according to the order (of nearness). (Sahih Muslim Book 032, Number 6181)
Conclusion
Dear Muslim brothers and sisters, let us know that whatever Allah has made an obligatory on us should not be taken with a slight hand.
Try to improve your connection with your parents. It’s everybody’s obligatory duty. Whoever fails to do so as a very slim chance to enter paradise.
May Allah guide us to His path and grant our parents the highest rank in paradise.
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